LIES I HAVE TOLD: U.T.I.

by Keef Rutledge on March 29, 2012

In junior high, I developed a severe urinary tract infection. Convinced that God was punishing me for touching myself, I refused to tell my doctor. Instead, I boiled my penis for ten minutes in a mixture of vinegar and lemon juice. The urinary tract infection cleared up, and since I sizzled away most of my nerve endings, my stamina in the sack is outstanding– if my partner can stomach looking at my scarred, lobster-red penis.

(Keef Rutledge lives in Austin and can be seen at www.keef.org.)

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