LIES I HAVE TOLD: REQUIEM

by Keef Rutledge on July 14, 2012

I recently received a newspaper clipping in the mail — an obituary
notice from my hometown newspaper saying that my old friend Thomas
had died, listing the location and date of the services. I had long
since moved away, but something about knowing my old comrade-in-arms
had died struck a chord with me. I flew back to the Midwest and picked
up a copy of the service flyer from the mortuary, and seeing my old
friend in full color made me feel that I wasn’t doing enough. In fact,
I felt obligated to do what Tom would have wanted me to do. I picked out
a costume and makeup and decided that I would attend the services
dressed and made-up like Tom. We had always looked similar, and the
wig and facial hair I wore pushed it over the top. I waited until a
half hour into the service and then ran into the church. After the
hubbub died down, I was sentenced to three years for causing a public
disturbance and felony mutilation of human remains. At the last
minute, I snuck the corpse onto the prison bus in my place and fled.

* * * *

Keef Rutledge lives in Austin and can be seen at www.keef.org.

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