LIES I HAVE TOLD: BRUSH WITH GREATNESS #4

by Keef Rutledge on August 1, 2012

The summer of 2006 was rotten.  I was stuck in Maryland working as a hot asphalt mixer, and by the end of July, my face looked as leathery and dry as the back end of a dead crocodile.  Come August 1, I’d had enough.  I took a turn as a flagger by the side of the road.  The first car that came along, I spun the sign to STOP and stuck out my thumb.  The driver shrugged.  I dropped the sign, opened the driver’s side door, and manhandled a surprised Newt Gingrich into the passenger seat (even when I hitchhike, no one drives but number one).  I put the pedal to the mat, and Newt’s tires sprayed steaming tar all over my newly former coworkers.  Newt, whom I’d never seen in my life, clapped me on the shoulder and laughed.  “I love you, you crazy son of a bitch!” he screamed in my ear above the whine of the engine.  “Westward ho!”

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Keef Rutledge lives in Austin and can be seen at www.keef.org.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Todd Weissenberger August 2, 2012 at 1:29 pm

The last part? The one that says, “Keef Rutledge lives in Austin and can be seen at http://www.keef.org.”? In that part the “www.keef.org” part should be preceded by “http://” or else the navigation faceplants and I get a gnarly message from the little people in my TV.

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