SILENT NIGHTS

by Steve Clem on November 26, 2011

Silence.

It’s a double-edged sword.

True there’s no fighting or blaming or yelling.

But there’s also no giggles, no jokes, no belly laughs.

Life as a single co-parent can be so bittersweet.

You have the time for yourself you never had before when married and in a family unit.

And you also have nights where you have no idea what your children are up to or where they are.

Tonight, what is supposed to be a night with kids, has turned kidless. The mini-me’s are with their mom at a hip-hop dance show, or something like that.

My first thought was “what a perfect night to just have a quiet night watching some college football, sipping a beer, and enjoying a peaceful house.”

But as the minutes tick by, the more lonely I feel.

No Gman asking me if he can use the computer yet. “The answer is still no!”

No Nile begging for a ride to the YMCA so he can play pickup basketball with his buddies. “Okay, Grady, you can use the computer while I’m driving your brother to play basketball.”

Just me. And my stupid cat.

The silence is beautiful. And sad.

You find things to distract you from the sad silence. Read. Watch a movie. Nap. Write a blog.

Then you remember that you’ll see them tomorrow. And you take a deep breath. It will be okay.

But one thing being a single half-time parent does do…it makes you cherish the moments you have with those little poops before you blink and they’re not-so-little poops.

Good silence. Bad silence. Peace with inner chaos.

Be safe, my sons. I will see you tomorrow!

* * * *

Steve Clem originally published this piece on the blog A Prisoner in the Tundra.

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